I was recently coaching a highly skilled actor who has a habit of tensing in their throat when voicing, especially emotionally-laden lines. If you have ever performed, or watched a performance with empathy, you will understand that this is a very common and natural challenge. But have you noticed how common it is in daily life as well?
Why do I feel throat tension when I have strong feelings?
It is, in fact, natural to clench the throat when we experience strong feelings. Think of the expressions we have to describe this connection – we get “all choked up”, we feel a “lump in our throat”, something gets “stuck in our craw”, and so on.
There are a lot of physical and neural connections between voice and emotions. Cranial nerves that move the vocal cords also govern emotions. So yeah, they are connected!
The irony here is that these sensations are typically not actually connected to the feelings themselves, but rather our response to expressing (or not) those feelings.
I’m going to say that again.
Throat tension surrounding strong feelings is often caused by choking back, or holding in, the feelings instead of expressing them. It isn’t caused by the feelings themselves.
But our culture doesn’t prize walking around fully expressing our feelings all the time, and we typically aren’t taught how to do that in a way that respects and cares for others who may be in the vicinity. So to avoid being rude or looking weird, we simply hold it in.
So, we learn to swallow our feelings of sadness, choke back our anger and rage, tense through the anxiety we are trying to hide, and suppress the words we don’t feel safe saying.
Ancient Indian traditions describe the throat chakra as an energy center that governs (among other things) speaking our truth and expressing ourselves. As a voice coach, I work with many people who have either too much or too little energy in this center. Luckily, it is something we can change if desired!
How do I free my throat?
Awareness always comes before change. Noticing the relationship between your feelings, your breath, and the feelings in your throat is a beautiful first step. When you feel sad or angry, pause and check in with your body. Are you biting back your feelings or are you expressing them?
Next comes the intention to express your feelings and thoughts, to speak your truth, to no longer cannibalize yourself by swallowing things you need to express.
Learning how to safely express feelings is too large a topic for this particular post, but good friends and professional therapy are obvious options. And in life in general, a helpful question may be, What am I not not saying?
I work with clients on issues like this in various ways, and one of those is “outside-in” voice coaching. Working on the mechanics of voice often frees the deeper holding. Sometimes this comes with emotional epiphany, but usually it just feels like freedom.
Feel free to contact me for more information or to book a session.
